Jeff Sargent
Earth Science
Red Martian
Davenport, Coral, Josh Haner, Larry Buchanan, and Derek Watkins. "Greenland Is Melting Away." The New York Times. The New York Times, 26 Oct. 2015. Web. 01 Nov. 2015. <http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/10/27/world/greenland-is-melting-away.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fscience&action=click&contentCollection=science®ion=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=7&pgtype=sectionfront&_r=0>.
An article that I found on The New York Times that intrigued me was an article called Greenland Is Melting Away. This article, obviously, is about how the large land mass Greenland, which is very snowy and icy, is melting. In Greenland, there is a large river that leads directly into a massive sinkhole. Scientists have been conducting experiments and making predictions on how fast the whole sheet of ice will melt, and they’ve also concluded that when it does melt, it will raise the sea level by about 20 feet. This is very important because this could significantly hurt and change people’s live all around the world, and maybe even cause disaster in places that are not able to prepare for the melting of Greenland.
In the article, it stated that if someone fell into the large sinkhole, they would not survive at all. This obviously affects all of the people that live in Greenland, but the scientists in the article are more worried on the effects on sea than on land. They stated that when the whole ice sheet melts, it will raise the sea level everywhere by about 20 feet. This means that we would basically have to build docks and piers up 20 feet to stay out of the water. Houses on the coasts could easily flood and be destroyed. “But to really know what’s happening, that kind of understanding can only come about through empirical measurements in the field” said Laurence C. Smith, head of the geography department at the University of California, Los Angeles. This shows that people do not really know about it, and the only way to learn more about it is by doing experiments up close and personal.
This whole article could have definitely been written better. The four authors who wrote this article should have given more information to back up their points. Although that had very good visual references, I think that there was not enough fact to back up the article and persuade the reader to care. The article could have given more of an impact by stating how the rise in sea level could affect people in the world. Overall it was an interesting topic, but it was presented weakly and was very dry.
Jeff did a good job critiquing his article. His first sentence hooked me by just using his articles title. His article was named,"Greenland is Melting Away". This caught me, Jeff did a good job of incorporating his title name to allow him to have a strong topic sentence. Another thing Jeff did well was he used facts and quotes in his critique to give the reader information. These facts and quotes allow the reader to get a better understanding of the topic. Finally, Jeff's use of language and his placement of words helped the article flow smoothly allowing it to be an enjoyable read.
ReplyDeleteI was amazed by this critique because it displayed fascinating facts that I have never heard of. I haven’t heard about Greenland sinking but now I realize what's going on. One fact amazed me. That “when the whole ice sheet melts, it will raise the sea level everywhere by about 20 feet”. This amazed me, I didn’t know any of this before. Also I didn’t realize that this is damaging property and people have to build these docks that are around 20 feet high just so they and their possessions don’t drown.
Jeff's review was great but I believe he could have concluded his critique better. He started it very strong but then ended it very quickly. Overall Jeff did a great job.
David Weild Comment
ReplyDelete11/5/15 JEFF
For my current events assignment this week, I read Jeff Sargent’s critique about Greenland melting away. First off, I really liked how Jeff explained the background of the story at the beginning. He described how if someone fell into this sinkhole they would not come out alive, he showed how violent this sinkhole really is.I really understood the danger of this sinkhole and what it would be like to witness it. Finally, I liked his conclusion that had some very cool facts showing how to avoid problems in the future like building piers away from it.
While Jeff’s article was very good, there were a few things he could’ve done to make it better. I think it would’ve been a good idea for him to break off the writing into 2 or 3 body paragraphs instead of 3 paragraphs in general because he had some quality ideas but I felt that the with smaller paragraphs to stay focused when reading the paragraphs. Also, he made a few grammatical errors that were silly things, like commas, which could easily be fixed.
This article really surprised me because I thought Greenland was very safe. You would think that with all the technology we have today it would be an easy fix but it still will take Greenland a lot of work to be completely safe.
David Weild Comment
ReplyDelete11/5/15 JEFF
For my current events assignment this week, I read Jeff Sargent’s critique about Greenland melting away. First off, I really liked how Jeff explained the background of the story at the beginning. He described how if someone fell into this sinkhole they would not come out alive, he showed how violent this sinkhole really is.I really understood the danger of this sinkhole and what it would be like to witness it. Finally, I liked his conclusion that had some very cool facts showing how to avoid problems in the future like building piers away from it.
While Jeff’s article was very good, there were a few things he could’ve done to make it better. I think it would’ve been a good idea for him to break off the writing into 2 or 3 body paragraphs instead of 3 paragraphs in general because he had some quality ideas but I felt that the with smaller paragraphs to stay focused when reading the paragraphs. Also, he made a few grammatical errors that were silly things, like commas, which could easily be fixed.
This article really surprised me because I thought Greenland was very safe. You would think that with all the technology we have today it would be an easy fix but it still will take Greenland a lot of work to be completely safe.
I read Jeff’s review of an article called “Greenland Is Melting Away”. The article was based on how Greenland is melting and when it is done it could raise the sea level around the world by about 20 feet. In the review Jeff did a really good job of critiquing the authors. He said what they did wrong as well as how to fix it, which was helpful for understanding the article. He also did a good job of including important information. For example, he included the fact that the ocean could rise twenty feet. This gave the reader a much better idea of the scale of the event. Lastly, Jeff did a good job of giving the review some flow. There were some good word which helped the article flow.
ReplyDeleteI was amazed that the melting of Greenland would cause the ocean to rise twenty feet. I know that melting a mass that big would cause a ocean level change but I had thought that it would have only been a few inches. I also was concerned about the people who live on Greenland, and on the shores of the world. Jeff had stated that they would be endangered but this could be a worldwide catastrophe.
This review was good but could have been even better if Jeff had made the writing a little clearer. He said what needed to be said but if he had said it more clearly it would have been even better.